How to come out to your parents:
Say: “I’m pregnant.”
When they gasp and look shocked, say: “April Fools, I’m gay.” Throw some glitter on them and walk away. Done.
when i told my dad ‘dad i have something to tell you’ he screamed ‘ARE YOU PREGNANT’ and i said ‘HA nope, i like girls’ and he was like ‘oh thank god’ so yeah it works and he did it all by himself
Julie Andrews on how she got the part in Mary Poppins.
when walt fucking disney waits for you then you are the absolute queen of everything
Reasons I should be in a band:
1) I’d be really amusing in interviews
2) I’d try to reply to everyone on Twitter
3) I’m totally on board with shipping (I’d probably read all of your fanfics tbh)
4) I don’t get homesick so tours would be good
Reasons I shouldn’t be in a band:
1) I can’t sing or play instruments for shit
Check out what this air vent does
Really important, guys.
im gonna throw this at everyone